


unkiss me

by skyesward



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/F, sort of au but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-28 09:25:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2727242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyesward/pseuds/skyesward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>soft lips bumping clumsily encompass all the things they're too scared to say aloud. </p><p>( the seven kisses bobbi morse and jemma simmons share )</p>
            </blockquote>





	unkiss me

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from the maroon five song with no relation whatsoever to the storyline.  
> (everything in brackets is lowercase so as to avoid confusion - they're afterthoughts)

_i_ **.**

The first time it happens it's so fleeting Jemma can barely register it before Bobbi rushes off, as if she were swept away with the wind, gorgeous and amazing as ever. (till this day, some part of jemma still thinks she imagined it)

Bobbi stood before her, decked out in full costume, ready to go on a weeklong mission to infiltrate and take down the newly discovered hydra facility, smiling, amused, as Jemma goes on about the various extensive safety protocols. 

"Please, be extra careful of the radiation that place seems to have excessive amounts of. The human body can only take that much radiation poisoning." Jemma can't seem to prevent her mouth from moving at motor speed, her worry for Bobbi's safety seeping through the cracks of her dialogue. 

" This type of it might even cause some sort of defect in your appearance if exposure is prolonged. I mean, n-not that you wouldn't still be beautiful. " She's basically cringing at her own incessant rambling at this point, but somehow she finds to will to keep going. (she's not sure if she should be thankful or just embarrassed) " Because you are. Beautiful, I mean. " 

The grin on Bobbi's features seems to grow more into a smirk by the second. " Really? " 

“ Yeah. " It doesn't seem to take her more than a split second to reply, as if there was no room for consideration or denial. And Jemma can't seem to keep the ridiculous grin off her face either. " And by all of that, I mean, just, be careful. Will you? " The sincerity in her delicate tone seems to take even Bobbi by surprise. 

" I always do. " she states simply, but Jemma hears her whisper her thanks when she leans forward and brushes her soft lips to Jemma’s cheek in a feathery light kiss, mouthing the words of appreciation. 

She leaves behind a blushing Jemma in her wake, who stands there stunned for a good few minutes before she shakes the surprise off with a mumble of the multitude of work she has to do and retreats to the privacy of her lab. (she doesn't stop grinning all day. ) 

 

 _ii_ **.**

It's a rainy afternoon when Bobbi finally returns from her most recent mission. (the lab has a tiny window by jemma’s  station that she enjoys looking out of whenever she has a free moment, which, if she were honest, is almost never. ) She'd been gone for about a month by that time, and her absence left Jemma fidgety and mildly edgy, causing a majority of the lab techs to stay out of her way for the most part. (which made it worse, honestly, it just reminded her of the gaping hole by her side where bobbi used to be) 

Jemma never really registered the fact that Agent Morse (bobbi, of course) spent so much of her spare time in the lab with her until she was suddenly gone and there was no longer anyone constantly standing next to her, listening to her go on about her newest discovery. It was as if Bobbi had unknowingly become the person she depended on to always be there for her, as if she has somehow become such an essential part of Jemma's daily life without her even noticing it. (she had)

The soft tapping and the subsequent greeting from beyond the glass partition between the lab and the garage breaks Jemma out of her reverie, giving her a mild scare.

"H-Hey, Jem." The minuscule grimace and brittle voice that accompany those words clue Jemma in on the fact that something is definitely wrong with the woman barely standing before her. She rushes forward to lend a helping hand, carefully guiding her towards the empty chair sitting in the corner of the room. It is then that she realises that Bobbi’s arm is bleeding incessantly, and that from the way she can hardly sit up straight and can’t seem to say a coherent sentence, she probably has a concussion in addition to the gigantic cut on her left arm.

Jemma all but runs to the first aid box she handily keeps in her workplace vicinity, seeing as she often acts as the team doctor in addition to her role as bio-technician, and grabs up the hugest pieces of gauze she can possibly find, along with the ice packs, a needle, tweezers, cream and painkillers she requires to ensure Bobbi is back to optimal health as soon as possible. She stitches up the cut as swiftly as she possibly can, placing an ice pack upon Bobbi’s head wound before she administers the aspirin to minimize swelling or possible side effects.

She starts chastising Bobbi on all the danger she put herself in, and how leaving it untreated for that long could have led to an umpteen and increased number of adverse symptoms, (the  _i wanted to see you_  goes unsaid, but somehow it’s there in the silence that follows her rant.) at least until she notices Bobbi slowly nodding off, the medication and exhaustion finally getting to her, if Jemma had to guess.

It takes her a moment before she gets up, intent on giving Bobbi her space to get some much needed rest, after which she impulsively decides to plant her lips on Bobbi’s’ forehead, in a show of comfort and reassurance (with the simple words  _get well soon_  in the gap between her lips), one she instantly regrets in acknowledgement of what it could possibly imply.

However, before she can backtrack and leave the room cringing, with an apology trailing behind her, she hears a soft murmur coming from the woman lying in the chair that stops her in her tracks.  _thank you, dr simmons._  (she walks right into mack on her way out of the lab, and she can barely think straight for long enough to compose a proper apology.)

 

 _iii_ **.**

The team had decorated the small compound area of living space excessively, making up for none of them having the chance to be at home during the holidays. There were at least three Christmas trees sprinkled throughout the various rooms, all decorated to the nines with baubles and garlands of all colours of the rainbow, and lights that seemed to differ in colour with every passing second, along with stockings with little doodles and all their names hand sewn on, compassed with homemade hanging decorations, made by all the team members on a particularly mundane afternoon. (fitz and skye passed out coloured origami paper and paints and made everyone submit at least one of their own design.)

Every accessible door was embellished with a wreath of its’ own, and there were plates of homemade cookies on the majority of the flat surfaces. (it was a gruelling morning that ended in looks of disapproval from coulson and the group of them covered head to toe in flour and frosting.) The worst of them all were the tiny specimens of mistletoe place strategically from the ceiling and doorways, leading to a boundless number of awkward encounters with friends and colleagues. (trip found himself under one with may once, and jemma swore she’d never seen anyone look more terrified in her life. may just sort of let out a gruff and proceeded to walk away whilst trip stood there, speechless for a good two minutes. lance doesn’t let him hear the end of it. )

Jemma was rather fortunate in the sense that she had no agonizing experiences in having to partake in the ancient Greek tradition representing the aphrodisiac. (it’s probably because she spends all her time in the one room she refused to let get decorated.) At least until a busy Wednesday evening, when while she was rushing back to her lab, stacks of paper in hand, and she collides head first with one Barbara Morse. In a desperate attempt to briskly pick up all the pieces of paper recording her newest experiment, she slips on one that happens to have ended up beneath her, and Bobbi handily saves her from the embarrassment by literally lending a helping hand, pulling her up before she can connect soundly with the hard wood floor.

When she’s back on her feet, her face is ridiculously close Bobbi’s torso, her eyes just barely levelled with Bobbi’s mouth, concurrently noticing the small plant hanging just above their heads, before she looks back down at the ground, face flushing. She stand there, shifting her feet, unsure of what she should do (the thought of kissing bobbi just makes her cheeks heat up further) when she hears Bobbi let out a boisterous laugh.

Bobbi looks at her for a moment, as if asking for her consent, (it’s not like she would ever deny bobbi of anything, though, she thinks) and when she nods, slightly, Bobbi places her hand on Jemma’s chin, redirecting her vision to her chocolate eyes, before softly placing a kiss on her nose.  Bobbi follows that up with a cheeky, “  Don’t we have work to do? ”, before lightly directing Jemma in the direction of the lab.  (skye makes a passing comment of _hey rudolf_ when she comes to the lab to give jemma her dinner, and a grin instantly forms in remembrance of the moment.)

 

 _iv_ **.**

They had known each other for almost a year at this point, and over that time, they’ve sort of seamlessly integrated themselves into each other’s’ lives. Bobbi is one of Jemma’s closest friends, and vice versa, if the endless conversations about everything from the newest biochemistry study to their personal lives is any indication.

That’s why it’s that much worse when Jemma returns from one of the few missions she goes on unconscious, with a bullet wound in her left thigh, having been admitted to the hospital hours before. (bobbi was not permitted to visit her at the hospital, because of security reasons, she was told. screw security is what bobbi says, but she still has to obey the strict orders to remain at base.) Bobbi’s face drops when the dreaded words are uttered across the private shield line, and she sits there in their weapons room for hours on end, antsy and unable to concentrate on anything but the instinctual swirling of her battle staves, waiting for Jemma to get out of surgery. (no one dares to near her vicinity with anything but positive news.)

When Jemma’s finally transported back to the base in the very same helicopter where they got to know each other for the first time, wheeled into her own room in a hospital bed, pale as ever, with countless tubes connected to her, in spite of with her background in biochemistry, with Jemma lying there, helpless, she couldn’t form an understanding nor a thought beyond prayers to a god she never really believed in for Jemma to endure through it all.

Bobbi sits by her bedside for hours, her face the picture of anxiety; holding on to Jemma’s hand like it’s her life raft in a sinking sea. The team even brings her food, and Lance has to cover her with a blanket when she falls into a deep sleep right there by her side. When Jemma finally awakes, hyped up on pain medication, mind blurred of the details of the past twenty four hours, eyes glazed over from confusion, Bobbi is right there, hand on Jemma’s back, helping her to find a more comfortable position to be in.

“ Hey…hey, be careful there, ” she says, her voice guff from sleep, in an attempt to prevent Jemma from pulling herself out of bed in her condition. She’s greeted with a goofy smile and a scrambled mumble of, “ H-hi! ”

It’s almost immediately succeeded by a, “ You’re really,” she takes a moment to pause before she proceeds, “ really pretty. ”

When Bobbi laughs, she receives the response of, “ You are!, ” Jemma smiles and Bobbi swears it could light up the world (at least it did her heart), “ Don’t you think so? ” She’s on the verge of pouting now, and Bobbi nods in an attempt to humour her.   

The next time she tries to speak its cut off by a pair of lips bumping clumsily against hers’, warm and prodding, but before Bobbi can formulate a proper response to the occurrence, Jemma’s focus shifts to the pudding cup by her bedside, the action seemingly forgotten. (bobbi, however, can’t keep the stutter rooted in amazement out of her voice for the rest of their conversation.)

Jemma never brings it up again, before and after she’s off the medical drugs, and Bobbi takes it as a sign that she’s either forgotten about it or just chooses to classify it as a mistake, and it’s never spoken of in the confines of their friendship again. (she doesn’t know it’s all jemma thinks about when it’s two am and she can’t stop her mind from venturing to places she's never allowed it to before.)

 

 _v_ **.**

Their first less than friendly fight takes place where most of their milestones do, in the lab, with the both of them standing opposite one another, stubborn as hell, refusing to budge at all odds, the lab technicians scrambling out of the environment as quickly as they can manage. It’s (unsurprisingly) about Jemma’s desire to return to the field after what happened the previous time, even with Bobbi’s distinct disapproval and without the doctor’s clear permission.

“Why the hell would you put yourself in that much danger again?” it was easy to hear the fury in Bobbi’s voice as she tried to reason with Jemma.

Jemma’s audible sigh in response says more than words do, “ Because it’s what I do! They need me out there, and Fitz and I work together! ” the exasperation is clear at this point, “ Besides, you do it all the time and I don’t make a huge fuss every time you do! ”

“ I’m an agent, Jemma, it’s what I do for a living. You’re a scientist. ” In the heat of the moment, the words escape her reach before she can think them over. 

Jemma huffs, obviously indignant, “ That’s what I am now huh? Just a scientist? Who should stay in her little lab? ”, she shakes her head before continuing, “ God, you’re all the same. ”

There’s a moment of silence that hangs between them before she considers and speaks her next sentiment, “ What? Come on Jemma, you know that’s not true. ”

The disappointment is evident in her eyes, and Bobbi could never stand Jemma being even the least bit upset.

“ It’s because I care about you, Jem. I just … you got shot the last time you took a risk for fuck’s sake! I don’t want that to happen to you, not again. ” she can feel Jemma’s gaze soften at her words.

The next few words laced with emotion slip out before she has a chance to stop them, and she covers her mouth in shock right after, as if that could somehow remove them from the plane of existence.

“ I can’t lose you, Jemma, I-I love you. ” Bobbi’s eyes are brimming with tears threatening to fall at that point (it’s never really connected in her brain before that moment, but all the smiles and conversations and soft touches apparently are the pieces that form the puzzle which is her love for one scientist) , and she almost leaves when Jemma just looks on in shock for what felt like an eternity, but before she can, she’s pulled back, leaning against Jemma.

She’s unsure of who makes the first move, but Jemma’s lips are embracing hers’, for the second time in her lifetime, and she’s pretty sure she could stay there, in the warmth of her grasp, with their fingers intertwined for the rest of her life. Jemma’s fingers are resting in the air she was running them through seconds before, and Bobbi's are resting on Jemma’s hip, when they finally pull apart, identical beams etched on both their features, panting heavily.

“ You think they all caught the show? ” Bobbi’s voice is breathy and teasing, and Jemma thinks that’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever heard. (coulson congratulates her on her new relationship that week, which begs a whole other question jemma’s not ready to hear the answer to yet.)

 

 _vi_ **.**

When they kiss for what Jemma thinks is the last time they ever will it’s like many of the previous times they do, chaste and sweet, encompassing all the things they thought they would have forever to say, and before Jemma knows it, Bobbi is out of sight, out on another mission to save the world, the only thing she can possibly do being worrying as she listens in on the communication devices. (the part she could contribute to the mission was completed a few days ago, with bobbi’s help  _or lack thereof_ )

It lasts for three days, and on the third morning of the mission, she’s awakened by screaming through the comm device she unplugged before she went to bed the night before, yet when the alarming three syllables are transmitted, spotty and unclear, surrounded by static, she feels herself go cold, as if her heart was ripped out of her chest, leaving behind a dull pain where the beating organ should have been, her whole world collapsing around her. 

“ _Bobbi’s down.”_   (she can so clearly hear the condolence in her best friends’ voice, but in some way, it just makes her heart ache even more)

The team returns that day, faces sombre, apologies on the tip of their tongues, unsure of what to say to make it better for the girl who loved Bobbi so. Coulson explains matter-of-factly what happened to Bobbi to her play by play as per her request, and she manages to stop herself from sobbing as he speaks of how Bobbi jumped in front of a civilian to take a bullet, in a self-sacrificial act that led to her being taken in by hydra. He speaks with praise as he commends Bobbi for her actions, and Jemma never speaks selfish the worlds swirling in her mind as she nods in acknowledgement. (i didn't need you to save the world, i just needed you to save me.)

Jemma finds that sadness is unlike any other emotion she’s ever experienced before. It's nothing like so many movies depict it, a montage of anger and exasperation paired with incessant weeping and ending with an abrupt moment were everything clicks and the protagonist finds that life is worth being happy about again. (jemma simmons' life is definitely no romantic comedy) 

Everyone tries their best to console her, Skye holds her for hours on end as she cries her heart out and gathers mounds of chocolate, ice cream and junk food for her to consume, Lance and Triplett would not stop telling her incredibly cheesy jokes, and Fitz is there right by her side at every moment she needs him to be, working with her, keeping her mind off the massive and ever present topic of contemplation, preventing her from breaking out in sobs at any given moment. (may even sits by her, silent as always, one particularly bad night, hand tapping lightly on her shoulder in a show of comfort.)

It's as if her world is monochrome, and that she's in an endless cycle of routine which barely keeps her on the ledge of survival. Everything seemed to be blurred by the constant slew of tears threatening to fall from her hazel orbs, yet at the same time, the world still seemed to turn as it always had for everyone else. (it didn't stop her heart from cracking just a smidge further every time she hears bobbi's name uttered, and the pitying glances that follow never help.)

Six months pass as she wallows in the news, and with every passing day, waking up at the crack of dawn to a cold and empty bed, with the absence of sloppy kisses becomes easier. (she hates herself for the fact.) She still mourns for what could have been, but the number of times she almost breaks down with her mind racing significantly decreases as she slowly comes to terms with what had happened. (it doesn't mean that seeing bobbi's face pinned up on the wall of honour stops making her heart ache either.) 

 

 _vii_ **.**

The eighth month anniversary of the day Bobbi disappears is when Jemma's finally ready to return to work in the field. It was an easy mission, a simple retrieval of an oh-eight-four in an abandoned shield facility, and Jemma's expertise was required only to determine the toxicity and authenticity of the object. Skye's right there by her side, arm wrapped around her in support when Jemma’s' voice wobbles and a choked sob escapes her at the sight of the empty space in the hangar where Bobbi used to sit next to her, hand covering hers' in a bid to calm her racing heart. (she never brings up how it only escalates her heart rate.)

Gunshots rain above her as the supposedly effortless mission ends up being a hydra ambush, and chaos ensues. Jemma's hidden away from plain sight, with nothing to serve as a defence against the enemy. Lance had previously instructed her to stay back as he and May worked to take down as many enemy agents as feasible, with the promise to come back for her as soon as possible. (she especially knows there's no keeping that particular promise.) 

The familiar voice behind her lidded with short puffs for air causes Jemma to turn around promptly, hands out in a show of self-preservation, but the face that greets her causes her mouth to widen and her heart to skip a beat in shock.

" Hey Jem, " She follows that with a sheepish shrug of shoulders, and extends a hand for Jemma to grab onto. (it's so remnant of the first time they met that she can't help but laugh at the irony.)

Part of her refuses to accede to the fact that Bobbi Morse is standing before her; and the rational part of her admits there's a much higher chance of that being one of hydra's agents wearing a photo static veil than there is Bobbi being alive, but she can't seem to halt the hope that is blooming in her chest. 

Jemma enfolds her hands with Bobbi's anyway, but when she sees the love and candour that she's sure the woman standing before her is the same one who took her heart with her months ago. She essentially launches herself into Bobbi's welcoming embrace, her head tucked below Bobbi's chin, their bodies nestling together like it always meant to be.

And so she runs. She runs for her life amidst the surrounding pandemonium with Bobbi’s hand in hers’, and it’s as if they are the only two people to ever matter in the world. That’s why when they finally find a moment of calm and their lips are interlocked in a mind numbing kiss, her tongue running against Bobbi’s upper lip, her bottom lip caught between grinding teeth, a never-ending exploration that led to the pair sharing a breath, eyes closed with pleasure, Jemma’s fingers tugging lightly at Bobbi’s hair. When they finally separate, Jemma’s head resting on Bobbi’s shoulder, she doesn’t think that any moment could ever be more treasured than this one in her mind. (she can even faintly hear skye and trip catcalling from where they stand)

(jemma never kisses anyone else in her lifetime apart from bobbi, and somehow that’s enough.)


End file.
